Ladies and gentlemen,

Jack Johnson!

What if I never get work? At this rate, its definitely possible. I'll just lounge around for a year, then get married. Or I'll change my belief system. Maybe it'll change itself. Grrr, I'm rambling. Today is not the day to be whining.

Do not, under any circumstances, watch Love Aaj Kal. If you read a good review of the film, you can safely assume that the reviewer was paid to praise it, and handsomely so. If you're bored, go eat out, meet old friends, rediscover the city's rich heritage. Heck, sitting at home and staring at your feet is a better way to pass time.
Awful movie. What were they thinking? What were they trying to show? I am a kid of this generation and I couldn't identify with any of the emotions in the movie! (But then I am a bit of an aunty on the inside).
I went in with super-low expectations. I kept giving it the benefit of doubt thinking that it will get better. And it did for about two minutes post-interval. Then downhill again.
Why does Saif Ali Khan have a double role? Try as he might, he did not fool anyone into thinking he could act (like a sardar). Deepika Padukone's acting seemed okay compared to Saif Ali's but that's only because the bar was set so low in the first place.
First Luck, now this. I don't think I'm going to be watching any movies in the theatre anytime soon.
Anyway, if you do happen to see it (I can't imagine why you would but...), I suggest you watch 'Mean Girls' ASAP afterwards to restore your faith in cinema.

This post has been issued in public interest

Once upon a time there was a little elephant named Ole. One day Ole got in a car accident and severed his left leg. When his mother saw him she screamed and dragged him to the doctor. Ole carried the detached limb with him. His mother asked the surgeon, "Doctor, will you be able to put his leg back?". The doctor said, "Don't worry, ma'am. Elephants always re-member."

Social networking has taken on a whole new meaning with the advent of the internet. From Hi5 to Orkut to Facebook to the latest fad, Twitter. I don't generally make predictions but I'm convinced that Twitter is the next big thing, as well it should be.
Rahul Gandhi is on Twitter! This really changes the dynamics of the whole politician-public relationship. Now Rahul Gandhi is not just a figure you see on TV or in the papers. He is a real, tangible being who you can have an actual conversation with. You can choose to follow him, (or not follow him) and post direct replies to the things he says! How cool is that? And not just him. I spoke to Darren Hayes. DARREN HAYES! Any invention that lets me talk to Darren Hayes is genius in my books.

I got my voter's id card today. I'm going to be a responsible citizen this May.

www.jaagore.com is simply awesome. I love the idea of youth empowerment. And I love how well it goes with the simple idea of a cup of tea. 


In other news, my paper today was horrid. Actually, horrid doesn't even begin to describe it. Take ghastly, atrocious, appalling, awful, nasty, and dreadful and add a fistful of shameful,  substandard and disgusting, and you might come close to what my paper was. I'm redefining horrid.

The Musical Twin

Over the years I've had many twins.

Okay, fine, so there was just one. But now, there's another. [Sorry winnie. But don't worry, I still love you.] This new twin pierces the one part of my life that the old, *whacks self* I mean other one didn't cover.

 

Music.

 

A long, long time ago (January), this girl, K, came to talk to me at a party. She told me that she'd seen some music on my Facebook profile and that she listened to pretty much the same stuff. We talked about exchanging music but it didn't happen. We're not really friends, and we're in different specializations so we don't see much of each other. Then a few months later I was listening to some music in college and I extended a earphone. She liked the song (Kings of Convenience) so I promised to give her some on a pen drive. This time I really did. She did the same.

Actually she did more. She went above and beyond. She gave me two whole albums of...wait for it…The Shins! Not to mention a bunch of other music which I haven't yet heard.

I can't even begin to explain what that means to me. It's like my birthday has come early this year (or got late last year, whichever way you choose to look at it). To add to the birthday feeling, she gave me music in the cutest cd cover. It's bright, shiny, jazzy red with hearts on it, like wrapping paper. Plus, M gave the world's coolest water bottle, wrapped and everything (it was a return gift for her little sister's birthday party). I wish my birthday was half as fun as yesterday!

Oh, and in the cute red cd case lay a cute movie called Paris je t'aime. It's the best I've seen in a long time.

 

As Athlete would say/sing, yesterday threw everything at me. Or as Marshall would say, it was steak sauce. Or as Barney might say, yesterday was totally awesome.

Okay, I'm done.

Gold in the air of summer

The heat was really getting to me. Even the riksha ride was unbearable. The aftermath of the riksha ride was no less unpleasant what with the man sticking his hands inside his pants to give me change. Dirty, sweaty pants, at that.

I was glad when I finally reached the stairs of the metro station. My head was beginning to hurt from being in the sun so long. The air conditioning beckoned and I made my way to it in a daze. I kept thinking of how I would make it home. How would I possibly survive the walk from the metro station to the bus stop?

I glided through the checkpoint to the entrance. I had kept my smart card out to speed my way to the infinitely cooler platform. It was all I could think of.

But my card wouldn't work.

I stepped back and tried again. It still wouldn't work. I shifted it, turned it around, stepped back again. No luck. I looked around for help but no one was there. I looked for the guard but he was far away. I sighed and started to make my way towards him when I perchance looked at my card.

 

It was my driver's license.

There was no electricity the whole day today! From 11.30 a.m. to 7 p.m. Some stupid meter change.

Since I couldn't study without light I decided to read Douglas Adams instead.

Sur minus

The Delhi government claimed that there would be a surplus of power by the end of the decade.
It's the end of the decade.
Where is this surplus power?
We've been having power cuts every single day. Three times a day. Peak of summer. Middle of exams.


What is wrong with these people!?

How fitting

Just as I started preaching anti-religionism and thinking that it's my calling, my mom comes and hands me a Hanuman Chalisa, which btw, I used to read religiously (pun unintended) when I was younger and had almost learnt it by heart! But even that was not because I was religious; my mom told me that it improves your memory and attention span.

Maybe this is a sign. God is telling me to believe.

I think I'll read it again.

UPDATE: I read it. I think I need someone to explain it to me.

Given that my exams are going on, my brain is on full throttle. And for once it's actually thinking about studies. About education to be specific.
Our text books are so incredibly dull! You would think that psychologists would know how to hold someone's attention!
Bored with the books I tried to pass my time online. I read some quotes by Douglas Adams and thought for the gazillionth time "that is one brilliant man". Not only is he brilliant in terms of coming up with new ideas but he can also make the most mundane seem interesting.
And then, suddenly, there was thunder and lightening and a bulb went off in my head. What if we combined the two? The textbook authors have the knowledge, but the writers have the skill! They should be the ones doing the writing, not these nerds! Douglas Adams can make even computer programming sound like a good way to spend a Sunday afternoon.
I wish he'd taken an interest in psychology the way he did with science. But he probably realised it was a rubbish subject. What have psychologists achieved anyway? They conduct fake research, then they make people ape it, stir things up, make some theories...doesn't matter if they hold true or not, and then what? Go back and test the old theory again. It's just a way convincing yourself that you're doing something worthwhile when you're actually doing squat.
Bleh. This was not meant to be a rant.
Don't mind me.
I'm just pissed I have five vivas.
But I still like the text book idea. The experts should probably write a rough draft of the book and then give it to the writers. Then the writer will say "Oh so this is what you wanted to say?" and then put in a joke or two and twist things around. Pictures are always helpful.
Maybe even advertising people should get in on this. After all, they know how to make things look appealing. I mean, have you seen Baron? It's such a brilliant book but what's with that orange cover? and Robbins doesn't even bother using colour.
So, to summarize, writers and ad agents should expand their horizons and get into the business of education. It's a win-win situation really. They get more jobs, we get more education, and eventually, even we get more jobs.
Thank you.
*takes a bow*
*standing ovation follows*

This is quite crappily written but it's the idea that counts right? And the idea sounded pretty good in my head. Maybe I'll fix it after the exams ( I probably won't)

She:
She sat there listening to Elton John wondering when she would have someone write her ‘her song’. To write her anything, in fact; even an email would do. Someone to call her in the middle of the night, someone she could call to gush about the rain.
But even in her loneliest moments she knew she didn’t want just anyone. It had to be him or nobody.
If only she could meet him.
She checked his profile online, she read his blog, she googled his name, she walked past his house. She knew it wasn’t normal, but, try as she might, she couldn’t stop herself from doing it.
She wondered what it'd be like to talk to him. She spent all day trying to find a way to see him. She could have met him today if he had come to her friends’ house. She could have met him if she’d taken an earlier train. She could have met him if he had just come forth and said hello.
But he didn’t and she spent her time looking for photos of him on the internet.

He:
He had a lot on his plate. He had plans, hopes, dreams, ambitions. He had to study, to travel, to meet new people and see new places. He needed to make something of himself. He had a gift and he needed to use it. He didn’t have time for a girlfriend. Still he found himself dreaming of her. He knew he was a traveler at heart, but for her, he would change. He could fill his days just writing to her, about her, for her.
If only he could meet her.
But he didn’t.

The past few days have been rather dull so I have found solace in these three jokes. Being the kind, compassionate person that I am, I thought I'll share them with everyone. I'm not sure if they even make sense out of context, let alone seem funny. Either way, it doesn't matter. This is the beauty of having no readers.

So here are the jokes in order of preference:

P upon (mis)hearing some students campaigning "We want a solution!"
"They want sun lotion?"
(Afterwards she exclaimed, "That was so 'bimbo', no?")

The boy who looked 'dapper' (it's my new favourite word!) on drinking beer
"People might not do it for that reason but I'm not people. *pause* I'm da Man!"

My absolute favourite:
M on hearing some guy make up a word
"This man is suffering from neogolism!"

Yesterday's horoscope:

"You may start feeling a bit insecure about your position, although that may not be the case"

Today we had our last OB class ever (yippee!). Among other things sir spoke of capitalism.
If you think about it, all socialist, imperialist, communist, and democratic world views have faded away. The only thing that remained was capitalism. Which is why America is a superpower and the unofficial king of the world. But if you think some more, you'll realise that even capitalism has more or less collapsed now with the recent economic meltdown. So what now? Maybe we'll return to a previously sucessful system of functioning. After all, history tends to repeat itself. Or we might just stumble upon a new social-political-economic ideology. Personally I'm rooting for something new.

Delhi 6 has all the makings of a successful movie. It has talented actors, well thought-out characters, and a brilliant musical score. The cinematography is great, the still are wonderful and the setting is romantic. But there is no love story. In fact, there is no story at all.

NRI boy, Roshan, (Abhishek Bachchan) fulfils his dying grandmother’s penultimate wish by bringing her to India. That’s where the story falls apart. Is it about a sweet NRI boy getting accustomed to India? Is it about him falling in love with a local girl? Is it about the local girl aspiring for a place on a reality show? Is it about Chandni Chowk as the name suggests? Or is it about the damned killer monkey? Maybe it is about Hindu-Muslim conflict. Who can say?

Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s effort to one-up his Rang De Basanti tanked but it was not completely hopeless. A.R. Rahman’s music (songs like Genda Phool and Masakalli) is beautiful beyond words. Abhishek Bachchan, Sonam Kapoor and the rest of the cast have all acted brilliantly. And despite being slow and aimless, the script is nevertheless funny and the story relate-able in parts.

It’s worth one watch in any case.

I went for someone's sangeet yesterday and everyone kept forcing me to dance. (except my friend who understood..it is one of the many reasons I love her!)
What I don't get is this: Why is it okay for people to not know how to sing, but not okay to not know how to dance?
I will fashion this into a whole post someday.

I wrote this for my birthday but forgot to post it:

22 years.

It amazes me how little I’ve learnt in all this time. I lived in Bombay for 15 years. I know about 5 square kilometres of it and even those have changed. I’ve lived in Delhi for 6, but can’t claim to know this city either. What achievements do I have to speak of? What interests? I like music but do I know about it? No. I like food but do I know about it? Again, no. In 22 years I couldn’t find something to intrigue me? In 22 years I couldn’t find something I’m good at? What is the point of a life like this, aimlessly moving from one day through the next?

I know what I want for this birthday. It’s the same thing I wanted on my 20^th.

A purpose.